If there’s one thing to be blamed for my current life of
bipolar intrapersonal communications and random insanity tantrums, it’s the
absence of reading materials a.k.a. books- the only things that can distract me
from my depression that was brought about by some unkind circumstance that life
mercilessly puts on people like me who only wants to be happy and who, before
this, is unconsciously writing this long introductory paragraph in just one
sentence. (gasp)
I am not in
my right state of mind. I was losing it. I am losing it. Whatever IT is. I’m
starting to sound like the cracking Gretchen Weaners.
It has been
almost three weeks since I left Davao to go home to our province. Being a new
graduate (i.e. unemployed), I have no excuse to convince my parents to let me
spend my summertime in Davao because they know I will end up just
contemporaneously and mindlessly spending money for my temporary enjoyment. I’m
not saying that my parents don’t want me to have fun and have a great time for
a while. It’s more of a personal thing. I have to start learning to be
independent considering that I would be entering a new world where I have to
survive on my own without the monthly allowance that my dad sends me.
Anyway, the
reason why I’m not burying my nose in a good book is because 1) I left Davao
without knowing how long I’ll be gone, so I just grabbed one book from the huge unread pile that was waiting for me the entire school year that has passed;
2) The only place we can buy books in our province are the book sales that sell
old paperbacks. Unfortunately, I have the nerve to be finicky despite the
desperation; and 3) I am craving for the latest books because I still have the
graduation money my grandmother gifted me and I don’t want to spend all of it
in old books and regret it in the future when there’s a new book in the market
that would incite my interest.
When my
churchmates from Davao decided to visit me in our province, we decided to go to
General Santos City, an hour away from our province, to find something fun to
do. So I grabbed the opportunity. The moment we entered Robinson’s, I ran
directly to National Book Store. Finally, a legit book shop.
I panicked
with the excitement that immediately dominated my system as I explored the
shelves. However, euphoria brought me to make such a terrible mistake: I bought
a book that I already owned.
I was
looking for a paperback copy of Mitch Albom’s new book (The Time Keeper), which I’ve been
coveting for the past months but I can’t buy because I have been spending a lot
for school requirements.
Then I saw
a copy of the author’s Have a Little
Faith and immediately grabbed it thinking that that was the book I was
looking for.
I directly purchased it without
really thinking about it.
After reading a few pages, I felt
that I’ve read it before, somewhere, in the distant past. I started to complain
that it seems that he’s been recycling characters from his past books. Then I
looked at the cover page and SHIT! Reality dawned on me.
I don’t really know how I would
excuse myself from such stupidity but I will try:
Excuse #1: I was so eager to read
a new book that I did not bother checking if it was really the one I wanted to
buy. And I never thought that it was possible for a person to commit such
mistake.
Excuse #2: My first copy of HALF was just gifted to me by a friend,
so I have no memory whatsoever of buying it. So even if I bothered asking
myself if I had bought the book before, it wouldn’t have stopped me from buying
it. Plus, the one gifted to me was hardbound so the feel was different.
Excuse #3: The cover of the two
books have some resemblances: the font of the title, how the name of the author
was written, the triangles in the edges, and the ancient type of background.
(See photo below)
I still
can’t get over this stupid mistake and I know I won’t be able to forgive myself
anytime soon. But looking at the bright side, I learned that I should always
think twice. Plus, at least the mistake drove me to write a post again after a
long hiatus. I guess life’s lemons make good lemonade after all.
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